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Submitted on
May 9, 2012
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Swimming in the pool
With just one toe at a time
You won't swim a lap

Before you will die
There are mysteries in life
You will want to solve

You young detective
Stop to see how you've evolved
Underneath the sun

In the shade of trees
Climb above the canopy
Sail upon the breeze

-Chorus:
Know your world
Poetry is vague..
Life is not

Step outside
Life can deprecate
Bodies rot

Sad old wooden chair
Alone inside; oak tree stood
Mighty when it died

Broken bones repair
Stitches heal, too; a dark heart
Never loves anew.-  (end chorus)

Crowds are pushing past
Wandering to homes alone
Driving in circles

Forgetting the known
The lamps will burn forever
Keeping people up

In the valley's heart
The sunlight becomes corrupt;
Cats can always see

Birds can fly away,
Some dogs can smell disaster
People stay the same

-Chorus-
This is a song that I began work on some time ago. The music behind it is still partly unfinished, but I'm planning to segue into an instrumental second half.

A little background about Haiku: The most common form is a strict structure of 5 syllables, followed by 7 syllables, concluded by a final 5 syllables. The best haiku are considered to have two abstractive conflicting points or images contained in the work.

There are also Haiku that follow a 3/5/3 structure, instead of the popular 5/7/5 form. American prose Haiku is formed much more loosely, with really any iambic pentameter and syllabic construct, so long as each is contained in a 3 line structure.

Interesting thing about this work: I call this a 4/3 Haiku for a reason. If you were to add a rhyme scheme to this poem, it would function as both a series of Haiku AND a series of western 4-line phrases. Try reading it both ways, once as a series of Haiku, and once following the ABCB rhyme scheme.

Swimming in the pool
With just one toe at a time
You won't swim a lap
Before you will die

There are mysteries in life
You will want to solve
You young detective
Stop to see how you've evolved

Underneath the sun
In the shade of trees
Climb above the canopy
Sail upon the breeze
:iconmadewithlove8:
MadeWithLove8 Featured By Owner May 10, 2012  Hobbyist Artisan Crafter
This is pretty awesome and thought provoking. I love it. Keep up the good work. It would be good to hear the music, maybe on youtube or something, once you have them put together. :clap:
Reply
:iconsouffle-etc:
souffle-etc Featured By Owner May 10, 2012  Hobbyist Artisan Crafter
Thank you! I do have a couple songs finished and available for download. (Butterflies in Spain even got radio play!)
I'll note you with a couple links!
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:iconmadewithlove8:
MadeWithLove8 Featured By Owner May 11, 2012  Hobbyist Artisan Crafter
Thanks!
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